Milwaukee, “Drunkest City”

by G. Sax

Ah, beautiful city by Lake Michigan. Oh, undrinkable Miller Lite. Oh, historic Pabst. Oh, forgotten Blatz. Oh, sweet, sweet tastes from a Lakefront Brewery that’s really on a river.

Milwaukee was recently ranked by Forbes.com as “America’s Drunkest City” on a list of 35 major metropolitan areas ranked for their drinking habits.

The numbers were pulled together from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to rank cities in five areas: state laws, number of drinkers, number of heavy drinkers, number of binge drinkers, and alcoholism.

Minneapolis-St. Paul ranked second. Not bad. Columbus, Ohio; Boston; Austin, Texas; Chicago; Cleveland; Pittsburgh; Philadelphia; Providence. All pretty drunk.

One dude celebrating his birthday at G-Daddy’s BBC in Milwaukee was quoted as saying, “I have had people stay with me from London and Chicago, and they can’t get over how much we drink…I guess we do.”

He guesses? There’s a bar on just about every corner in Milwaukee and often one in the middle of the block. I’ve been to a lot of them. I’ve been in various states of disarray inside and outside of them. To be fair, the scene isn’t much different in Madison, Fon du Lac, Eau Claire, or La Crosse.

Officials at “Visit Milwaukee,” the area’s convention and visitors bureau, contended that the city had come a long way in ridding itself of its beer-guzzling image. “Milwaukeeans have plenty of other ways to entertain themselves without drinking alcohol,” said a spokesman for the group. “We’ve gone from Brew City to new city,” he said.

In a related statement, former Milwaukee resident and frequent visitor to the Cream City, G. Sax, had this to say: “Bullshit. Can someone get me a Sprecher please?”

Twin Cities to Enjoy

by G. Sax

Big 10 in Hopkins. Bunny’s in St. Louis Park. Frisbee golf in Edina. The EPC. Byerly’s, the carpeted grocery store. Excelsior & Grand. Oh, those suburbs. But I get cityside, too. Tom Reid’s in St. Paul. Chicken wings at Liquor Lyle’s in Uptown, outdoor dining at St. Anthony Main. Minnesota sure does have a whole lot of flat, which I’ve grown unused to after many years Californ-i-way, but there’s plenty of shit going on here. I can dig it.

One Exit

G. Sax

Have I mentioned that I work one exit away from my apartment? I hop on Hwy. 169 and right the eff back off. Five-minute commute. Almost as good as working from home. I shouldn’t brag too hard. Carly’s not thrilled with her length-of-the-metro commute to St. Paul. We’ve done a role reversal from our Novato, CA schedule. It’ll change again someday. Here’s to hoping the new digs fall somewhere in the middle for once. (2008 Update: Not even close. We moved to St. Paul. My commute is near its California levels. Carly eats lunch at home everyday, and I’m boondocking. At least the weekends make more sense.)

Best Films of 2005

Dear Frankie
This Scottish film is a real tear jerker in all the good ways. A young boy thinks that his father is away working on a ship when in fact his mother had fled from his abusive father. When the ship is expected in town, she has to find a father for a day and quick. What unfolds is a true love story. I liked the fact that the boy is deaf is just another part of the story and not used as a pity thing.

Batman Begins
I am a fan of the Tim Burton Batman films, but this is how it should have been done all along.

Me and You and Everyone We Know
The more I think about this movie the more I appreciate it. The most interesting film of the year and the best poop joke ever.

A History Of Violence
Nothing in this movie really surprised me, you know how it will all play out. I just loved the way it unfolded. Viggo Mortensen proves his post LOTR status after the almost disastrous Hidalgo ruined his career.

Good Night and Good Luck
George Clooney is one of the few stars these days that could get away with a black and white movie that is all talking. Good for him!

Murderball
There were a number of great documentaries this year, but this was the best.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
I can’t really explain this movie, but it worked for me. The script is clichéd, but that is the point. That doesn’t make any sense unless you see the movie. The writing style is unique and I hope to see more movies move this way.

Fever Pitch
How can you not love this movie? It would have worked even if the Red Sox hadn’t won the World Series. Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore were terrific together in this romantic comedy.

Documentaries

There were too many good documentaries this year not to mention them.

Murderball was in my top ten.

Grizzly Man almost made it. The wackiest guy (rest his soul) on film in 2005.

Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill also almost made it. The second wackiest guy on film in 2005.

Gunner Palace. Who says war can’t be fun?

Mad Hot Ballroom. Some of these kids were so funny and genuine I would love to see some of them go into real film work.

Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room. If you don’t know about the Enron debacle this is a must see.

March of the Penguins. The highest profile doc of the year. Try to get the original French version with the comedic overtures they had instead of the wonderful Morgan Freeman narration.

No Time for Cold Feet. This will mean nothing to you unless you know about the Winter Carnival and the Medallion Hunt that takes place in St. Paul, Minnesota every year.

Some Other Films I Liked

Brokeback Mountain. I mention this because everyone else will. I liked it well enough, but it had the same clichés of any romance so what’s the big deal? Oh, that’s right. It’s two guys and they are cowboys.

Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Would have liked it more if they knew how to end it.

Howl’s Moving Castle. I still hope computer animation will not overtake traditional animation.

Stay. I liked the dreamlike way this movie unfolded. Just not original enough for me to love it.

The Weatherman. How can you not laugh at this poor schmuck’s life?

Beyond the Sea. Yeah, Kevin Spacey was way too old for the role, but he loved his subject matter so much that he won me over.

Zathura. A great kids movie and much better than Jumanji.

The Sea Inside. Well, if I hadn’t loved Million Dollar Baby so much…

North Country. This film deserved a better run than it got, and I’m not saying that just because I’m from Minnesota.

Diary of a Mad Black Woman. It’s How Stella Got Her Groove Back with a crazy grandmother.

Millions. I thought this would be the movie of the year. Great, but not perfect.

Jesus is Magic. I love Sarah Silverman! Even though the movie is 85 minutes, it’s too long. Some very funny stuff though.

The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Steve Carrell had a breakout year with this movie and TV’s “The Office.”

Not As Bad As You Heard

The Longest Yard. I really liked this remake and don’t get why everyone was so hard on it.

Bewitched. I thought that Nicole Kidman was great as Samantha and Will Ferrell was very funny.

Be Cool. Nope, this sequel didn’t need to be made, but it was worth it for The Rock, who showed that he can actually be good. And funny!

The Dukes of Hazzard. Why the hell did people bitch about this movie? It did exactly what it was supposed to do, so stop complaining!

The Island. No, it was not good, but it wasn’t the worst thing I have seen all year. I think the big problem was the fact that the movie was called The Island and the preview shows the scene of him screaming “There is no island!” That’s the genius of marketing!

Overrated

King Kong. How the hell did they get Kong on the ship?

Broken Flowers. Just because you try to be quirky doesn’t mean it will be worth watching.

The Constant Gardener. I liked it, but I don’t get the hype that was surrounding this upon its release.

Shopgirl. Another movie I thought I would love and I just kinda liked it.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. What an insult that this is performing better than the third film, which was superior in all ways.

Chronicles of Narnia. Ho hum. Someone saw Harry Potter and had an idea for a franchise.