Las Vegas Darts

by John Schmall

Most people go to Las Vegas to gamble or to see the shows or (perhaps these days) to shop. Me? I go to play darts. Well, actually I went for work, but in my down time I did not drop any coins in any slot machines. I did not place any chips on any tables. I did not wager on any sporting events. I did, however, plunk down $5 to enter a dart tournament.

With a little direction from dartbars.com and some good advice from sewa-darts.com, I found a couple of excellent darting venues just a couple of miles off the Strip. A sane person would probably get a taxi to venture to such a location. I elected to hoof it. I’ll admit that it wasn’t the most pleasant stroll I’ve ever taken, but I have trekked through much worse. The address numbers along East Desert Inn Road grew excruciatingly slowly. After walking for what seemed like forever, I was only at the 1500 block. After another forever, I was barely past the 2000 block and on and on and on…

Finally, I saw my destination, CD’s Lounge, and it was no mirage. Their tap beer selection was lacking, but their swell set up for darting more than made up for it. Eight boards occupied a prominent place in the bar, but they were not “in the way” of restrooms or other busy traffic paths. Rum Runner is right across the street. They have five boards and Newcastle on tap. That’s where I played in the tournament – Chicago Format, double elimination.

I drew a good partner (who everyone called Junior), and we started off fast in our first match against Dave and Ricky. I narrowly missed a 74 check-out, but nailed the D10 in my next turn to take the 501 leg. Junior and I were both catching triples to quickly take the cricket leg. The guy running the tournament told me that we had just sent one of the strongest pairings to the losers bracket.

We tried to give the match away in our next round but escaped with a win. That set up a match against the only other team left in the winners bracket, Mike and Sandy. They were hitting clutch darts, while Junior and I were struggling with consistency. We forced a third leg but couldn’t find a finishing double. That delivered us to the third-place game, where our opponents were Dave and Ricky who had fought their way through the losers bracket.

They played us a lot tougher in the rematch. Ricky was on fire, but we managed to get to a third leg. Things weren’t looking too good for us, but suddenly the opposition got cold going for a winning double. I wasn’t much help, but Junior made them pay with D6.

We were in the final, and we had to face Mike and Sandy, again. We won the opening 301 leg but somehow let the cricket leg get away from us. The 501 game was tight, but Junior wasted no time in hitting the D20 for the win.

However, since we were coming into the final out of the losers bracket, we still needed to take another 2-out-of-3 to win the tournament. Sandy was not missing her doubles, and it did not take her long to hit a D10 and put us down a leg. We evened things up with a cricket win, forcing a 501 decider. Ultimately, we ended up congratulating Mike and Sandy because they made the big throws while Junior and I did not.

It was a fun night of darts, and I can’t complain about second place. Certainly, it was a better option than mindlessly dropping coins into some slot machine that only guarantees profits for some giant resort corporation.

Grocery Store Rant

by John Schmall

There’s a thing that’s been pissing me off lately. Well, actually two things—but I don’t think I can stomach writing about how pathetic my dart game has gotten right now. What I want to write about is shopping carts, or maybe laziness, or maybe just stupidity.

When I go to the grocery store, there are shopping carts strewn across the parking lot. Some are tipped over on their sides. Some are (perhaps securely?) held in place by an island curb. Many are simply taking up parking spaces but also left free to be swept across the lot by the wind.

What’s the matter with people? Why can’t they bring their shopping carts to the little collector areas dispersed throughout the parking lot? Are people’s schedules really so hectic that they can’t spend the extra 30 seconds to run their shopping cart back to its proper place? Maybe folks are just lazy. You know that pushing an empty shopping cart that extra 100 feet can be a real killer, especially after unloading your week’s supply of Twinkies into the back seat.

I suspect that these same people drive around the parking lot for five minutes to get a parking space that is acceptably close to the store entrance or at least ten spaces closer than if they just pulled into the first parking space they saw. I can also imagine that after recklessly leaving their shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot, they zip over to the gym where they pay an exorbitant monthly fee for a few minutes on a Stairmaster.

I’ve got a great solution for everybody. Cancel the gym membership. Park in the remotest area of the grocery store parking lot and make sure to always bring your damn shopping cart back to one of the designated areas. Is that too much to ask?

Darts Q&A

by John Schmall

Fred from Spokane, WA
Q: In cricket, is it a better strategy to score points or close numbers?
A: The best strategy is to do both. However, I don’t recall ever thinking that I had scored too many points upon completion of a cricket game. Although there have been times when I wished I had scored more.

Amy from Chicago, IL
Q: I can whip most of the guys I play against. Why are there always separate events for ladies only?
A: That’s a very good question. While most tournaments do offer ladies-only events, the “men’s events” are usually open events that would welcome female entrants. Most of the women who win the ladies events are skilled players and could probably compete very well in the open events, so there is no real advantage to entering a ladies event for the average female dart player.

Todd from Pflugerville, TX
Q: Why are you such a dork?
A: Is that a darts-related question? Oh, I get it now. You must be referring to that cricket game we played last week when I opened with seven 20s and after you had a round with no marks, I proceeded with seven 19s. What can I say? That’s how the game is played.

Geoffrey from Charlottesville, VA
Q: What’s the best double to shoot for in ‘01 games?
A: The last time I checked, all of the doubles were the same size except for the double bullseye. Thus, there is no “best” double to shoot for and in certain circumstances it is even appropriate to shoot for the double bull. That said, certain doubles are preferred because of the way they break down if you miss just inside the double ring. For example, if you miss a D20 by hitting a S20, you are immediately set up to throw an out shot at the D10 with your next dart. On the other hand, if you miss a D19 by hitting a S19, you have to throw a set up dart to get a shot at another double. In case it’s not obvious, the preferred doubles (listed in order of the number of break downs they allow) are D16, D8, D20, D12, D4, D18, D14, D10, D6 and D2.

Oliver from Ipswich, MA
Q: What is the best practice routine to improve consistency and accuracy?
A: If only I knew…

Benjamin from Ruskin, FL
Q: ‘01 games are boring and require no strategy. Cricket is the only real game in darts.
A: I have to disagree with you there. ’01 games require a great deal of strategy in setting up an out shot that gives you the best chance of winning. For example, with 46 left a lot of folks insist that S14-D16 is the only way to go, but if you are a little off on your shot at S14 you’ll find yourself landing in a S9 or S11 (leaving 37 or 35 and requiring another dart before you can even attempt a double). It is much better to throw for the wire between the S6 and S10. The 6/10 fat wedge provides a big target and both the S6 and the S10 leave you a “good” double. Furthermore, even if you slop into a double or triple (6 or 10) you’ll still be set up with a double to shoot at. In my opinion, the 6/10 wire is the best way to go with 46 left.

Meeghan from West Conshohocken, PA
Q: How do you attempt a 74 check-out and why do you do it that way?
A: This is an interesting question, because my approach depends on the game situation. With only two darts left and my opponent on an out, I shoot for T16-D13. It is a bit unconventional, but my thinking is that I have to hit a triple to get a shot at the double and if I don’t take it out with my two remaining darts, I may not get another chance with my opponent sitting on an out. I think that going after the T16 is the best shot because if I miss the T16 by hitting the T8 right next door, I’ll still get a potential game winning shot at the double bull. With three darts in hand I shoot for T14-D16. If I hit a S14 with my first dart, I’m left with a fairly straightforward S20-D20 shot to complete the check-out. Also, misses into both the S9 above the 14 or the S11 below the 14 get me below the magic 71 and can be taken out with two darts without hitting a triple.

Tampa Darts

by John Schmall

On a recent trip to Tampa, Florida, things went smoothly. There were no missed connections at the airports, no particularly bizarre encounters, and my eternal quest for dart venues was actually quite successful.

I didn’t expect much from the Tampa public transportation system and wasn’t disappointed. There was a streetcar that ran from where I was staying downtown to Ybor City (apparently THE place for Tampa nightlife). That appeared to be the only reasonable destination for someone using public transportation, but the posted streetcar hours of operation didn’t seem conducive to participating in the nighttime festivities. I generally eschewed the streetcar in favor of a two-mile walk to Ybor City, but I wouldn’t rate Tampa as very pedestrian friendly,

Ybor City was hopping on a Saturday night. One bar advertised “beer pong.” I guess I dated myself when I envisioned something related to that old (original?) video game. Actually, it involved bouncing a ping pong ball across a table and into a cup of beer, thereby requiring your opponent to drink said beer.

Ahhh, the crazy kids today! There is one thing I never understood about such drinking games: Why is your opponent rewarded with a drink when you are the one that successfully completed the challenge (in this case getting the ball in the cup)?

In my experience, good dart bars usually aren’t found in such hip entertainment districts. I was quite surprised to stumble upon a bar near the end of the main strip with four dimly lit dart boards. I can’t remember the name of the place, but it was something unusual like “It’s a Dirty Shame.” It had a good atmosphere—not too crowded, not too touristy, and dark with a little bit of an edge. With a Newcastle pint and darts in hand, I was a happy camper.

Ybor City on a Sunday night was very quiet. It seemed that over half the places (including my newly discovered dart bar) weren’t even open for business. I finally stopped at the Tampa Bay Brewing Company to grab a bite to eat. The local brews were good, but I was more impressed to discover a real dart board set up behind the beer vats.

One evening, I drove out to Brandon for a tournament at an Irish pub called O’Tooles. I had discovered the place through some pre-trip research. The turnout was sparse. Some of the locals indicated that they usually draw about ten darters—we had six after a couple of significant others were pressed into service.

It turned out to be a good number because they only had two boards that were shoehorned into a pretty tight space. It would have been a bit cramped to play two matches at once. There is absolutely nothing worthwhile to write about my darts that night. I didn’t get blown out, but I just didn’t take advantage of opportunities when they were presented to me. After the tournament, I found enough pickup games to last into the wee hours. I can’t complain about that.

Overall, Tampa is just a typical American city (with palm trees). I’d give it a gold star for dart friendliness, but without a car it ain’t so easy to get around.

Texas Darts

by John Schmall

It is hard to believe that I have already been in Texas for two years. Soon after arriving in early 2005, I found some weekly blind draw tournaments (where you get paired with a random partner). I tried to enter as often as possible, but sometimes several dart-less weeks would pass.

One venue, Shenanigans, has a neat setup where they hold back-to-back tournaments on Saturday afternoon/evening. I usually have a lot of time to grab something to eat before the second tournament after getting bounced out early in the first.

I have yet to win one, but I did take second place in both tournaments one week and finished in the money (second/third/fourth) a few other times.

Some highlights? In one cricket game, we were down by 12 points needing one 16 and bulls. The opponents had everything closed but bulls. I had the winning darts in my hand and really wanted to finish it. I closed the 16 with the first dart but only got a single bull with the second dart. I was actually a little disgusted, but fired a double bull with my third dart. Fortunately, the opponents only picked up one cork and my partner finished it (although he blamed me for shocking him so much that he needed all three darts to finally hit the winning bull).

I closed another cricket game with 3 corks and I also had a round hitting 6 17s as only I could (T17-off the board-T17). Indeed, my game is as inconsistent as ever.

In 2006, I started throwing weekly league darts again. I hooked on with a team in the league’s lowest (third) division. I thought I’d do well in division three, but mostly I’ve been getting whipped.

“Do you choose to play third division darts?” That was the question that was posed to me one night. My initial response was that I was in third division mostly because I figured I should start there and the league organizer thought it was appropriate after seeing me throw a few games. However, before I had even completely formulated those thoughts into words, I realized that it was really a much deeper question.

Judging by my results, it would seem that I am choosing to play fifth or sixth division darts. I have shown flashes of throwing division one darts. Maybe I just need to choose to throw that way more consistently.

Unfortunately, that is easier said than done because that choice involves more than just words. That choice involves maintaining focus and consistent throwing mechanics.

The statement “I am going to make a good throw” needs to be supported by concentration in both the mental and physical aspects of the game. Otherwise, it is just empty words; it is like choosing to become a doctor, but not studying in medical school or putting forth any effort in the practice of medicine.

A new season has begun and I am now captaining a team that is in first place through the first quarter. I have been throwing a little better, but I am cautiously optimistic because I know that the game of darts has a tendency to smack you in the teeth when you smile too much.

When things are going well, it is too easy to lose focus and become sloppy. It is a difficult task to remain vigilant. I am choosing to play better than third division darts. I am dedicated to that choice.

The World Could Use a Little Less Certainty

by John Schmall

It makes my stomach turn to realize how primitive and weak-minded modern civilization is. The primary force that drives man to violence is the “knowledge” that he is right and his enemies are wrong. Where does this knowledge come from? Firsthand personal experience? An internal moral compass? Organized religion? Inspiration directly from God? I have no idea, but I do know that the deeper the faith in the source and the less connected the source is to physical reality, the more dangerous it is.

Take President Bush (please!), for instance. I don’t believe that he thinks through issues. Instead, he follows the course that he knows in his heart to be right (and I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt because the only other explanation for his actions is that he is simply corrupt). There is no discussion, no logical thought processes, no second-guessing. Bush considers this decisiveness to be good leadership. I say this decisiveness is worthless, especially when he is continually making bonehead decisions.

It makes me think of a time in history when world leaders “knew” that the earth was the center of the universe and executed the heretics who believed otherwise (even if they could prove that the world leaders were wrong). I find such certainty in one’s own self-righteousness very scary.

The more I think about it, the more I want a leader who is not so goddamn sure of himself. I want a leader who has the courage to admit to a mistake. I want a leader who can rationally evaluate situations and modify strategies as necessary. I want a leader who chooses the best course of action based on thoughtful reasoning rather than a leader who “knows” the “right” course of action.

Religion, which requires acceptance of doctrine and concepts without direct proof, is inherently irrational. Religious differences have led to countless conflicts between major religious groups (Christians and Jews, Muslims and Christians, Jews and Muslims the list goes on and on and on) and even within religious groups (Catholics and Protestants, Shiites and Sunnis).

I suspect that each side in each conflict was certain in their righteousness and certain that God was on their side. God only knows how much blood has been shed in his name. It seems dangerous to me for the human mind to accept as certain that which cannot be known.

I’m not ready to convict religion as the root of all evil. The religions I know about generally promote positive values that provide the basis for a framework of laws that allow society to function in an orderly fashion. However, religion can also be twisted to provide a convenient vehicle for allowing one human being to feel superior to another human being thereby justifying any number of vile acts against misguided and godless savages.

My theory is that there is something innate in human beings that creates a need for them to feel superior to other human beings. I think it may be related to the survival instinct: During periods of scarcity, an individual needs to be able to rationalize why he should survive while others may perish.

If religion did not exist, people would probably not have much difficulty coming up with alternative means for establishing their own individual superiority. In fact, many other means (economic status, ethnicity, hair color, etc.) are already utilized in measuring a persons worth in society.

Fortunately, human beings have an intellect and a free will. They don’t have to be victims of their emotions and instinctual urges. They can challenge and question all the things they “know.” They can imagine themselves in other persons’ shoes. They can explore the possibility that they may not always be right.

The world could be a more peaceful place if people were not so certain about things they “know,” were not so certain about things that cannot be known.